Pastor Tony Ashmore continues the series "The Blessed Life" with part 2 in this Sunday service.
The Blessed Life Part 2
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Sunday, October 17, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Sermon Notes:
The Blessed Life…
It’s a Heart Thing
Galatians 3:13-15 “But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. For it is written in the Scriptures, “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.” Through Christ Jesus, God has blessed the Gentiles with the same blessing he promised to Abraham, so that we who are believers might receive the promised Holy Spirit through faith.”
Deuteronomy 30:19 “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!”
Do we bring our time, talent and resources to the Lord as an offering or are our gifts done out of duty or legalism?
There are those who do not participate in bringing the tithe because they claim it is part of the law and they are free from the law. Murder is part of the law, adultery is part of the law, stealing is part of the law. Is it ok to abandon the teachings of the law in those instances? Of course not. (Galatians 3:24-25—the law was like a tutor for a child. Once the principles become part of the child the tutor is no longer needed. Maturity=A Heart Issue. A principle becomes part of our “worldview”—only then does it change our world.)
Tithing is an issue of the heart, not a law thing. Its power to bless flows from the condition of the heart. If it is done merely as an act of duty, or in response to law, then its power is minimalized. There are tithers who are not living the Blessed Life because they have heart issues.
When tithing becomes “life” to you, instead of “law”, then you enter the Blessed Life.
Abraham and Melchisidek: Genesis 14; Hebrews 5 & 7. Before the law—an issue of the heart.
Hebrews 7:8 “Here mortal men receive tithes, but there he receives them, of whom it is witnessed that he lives.” If the tithe is just a duty, just a response to obligation, then it is received by men. If it is a heart response it is received by Jesus in Heaven—Heaven invades earth = The Blessed Life!
Cain and Abel. The “Head Attack”--
Genesis 4:3-5 “When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the LORD. Abel also brought a gift—the best of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The LORD accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.”
Cain: obligation, duty—I produced this. My hard work. I am responsible. My gift. I’m giving God something. I am in control.
Abel: I am nothing without you. It is yours to begin with. You are my source. I am blessed because of you. I bring you what belongs to you anyway. I bring it to honor and thank you.
Note Cain’s response to the tithe: A Head Attack—jealousy, envy, strife, murder!
Jesus tells us to never separate the Heart Issues from the tithe. (Matthew 23:23—“the weightier matters”). Make it a duty and we rob this principle of its power!
1. Deal with a Selfish Heart
Deut 15:9 “Beware lest there be a wicked thought in your heart, saying, 'The seventh year, the year of release, is at hand,' and your eye be evil against your poor brother and you give him nothing, and he cry out to the LORD against you, and it become sin among you.”
Matthew 16:24 “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.”
God calls selfish thoughts wicked thoughts! He says beware or guard your heart from wicked thoughts!
• Selfishness tells us we won’t have enough or God won’t or can’t be faithful. Selfishness is based on a scarcity worldview—there is not enough.
• Selfishness tries to manipulate and make deals with God to protect the return!
2. Deal with a Grieving Heart
Deut 15:10 You shall surely give to him, and your heart should not be grieved when you give to him, because for this thing the LORD your God will bless you in all your works and in all to which you put your hand.
James 1:6-8 “a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.”
Selfish heart says we can’t give. The grieving heart says we shouldn’t have given!
• Selfishness attacks us before we give, and then grief attacks us after we give.
• You have to guard your heart before and after you give!
3. Practice a Generous Heart
Deut 15:14 “you shall supply him liberally from your flock, from your threshing floor, and from your winepress. From what the LORD has blessed you with, you shall give to him.”
Philemon 1:6 “And I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ.”
I was born selfish! I was born again generous. Now it’s a matter of renewing my mind!
§ Be generous: with your time, your talent, your resources. Be generous with your praise and your love.
4. Practice a Grateful Heart
Deut 15:15 “You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God redeemed you; therefore I command you this thing today.”
Colossians 2:7 “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”
• Never forget we were a slave and everything we have is by His grace, it will help us to be grateful and generous.
• We were lost and hell bound. He didn’t have to save us. We didn’t deserve it, but at our worst, He saved us.
• He never stops loving me, no matter how I behave. He never gives up. The grateful heart wants to bring Him praise in our time, our talent and our resources.
The Blessed Life awaits you. The principle of the tithe is a foundational principle of that life. Shaky foundation will equal shaky life. Inconsistent foundation will equal an inconsistent life. Uneven, sinking foundation will equal an unequal, sinking life. Solid, level, consistent foundation will equal a solid, level, consistent life.
2 Chronicles 31:9-10 “Then Hezekiah questioned the priests and the Levites concerning the heaps. And Azariah the chief priest, from the house of Zadok, answered him and said, “Since the people began to bring the offerings into the house of the LORD, we have had enough to eat and have plenty left, for the LORD has blessed His people; and what is left is this great abundance.”
Hezekiah was concerned about the people because of the amount they were giving. The response: since they started bringing their tithes and offerings as a Heart Thing, they have entered the Blessed Life and abundance has become their way of life.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
10/13/10 - What's A Party Without Gifts PT10 - Pastor Tony Ashmore
Pastor Tony Ashmore continues the series "What's A Party Without Gifts?" with part 10 in this Wednesday service.
What's A Party Without Gifts? Part 10
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
What's A Party Without Gifts? Part 10
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Monday, October 11, 2010
10/10/10 - The Blessed Life PT1 - Pastor Tony Ashmore
Pastor Tony Ashmore begins a new series entitled "The Blessed Life" with part 1 in this Sunday service.
The Blessed Life Part 1
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Sunday, October 10, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Sermon Notes:
The Blessed Life…
1st Things 1st—God must be 1st
We want to put God first in every area including our Finances! Finances relate to every area of your life. How we handle our finances tells God “Who’s first in our lives!”
Matthew 6:21 “Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”
You will never have a complete relationship with God until you understand and practice His principles of handling money. (Matthew 6:24—cannot be loyal to both)
There are 500 verses on prayer, less than 500 on faith, but over 2000 on money and possessions. Jesus talked about money in 16 out of 38 parables.
2 examples of Blessed Life and Cursed Life: My dad and me.
3 Principles that must be understood if we are going to Live the Blessed Life:
1. The Firstborn must be sacrificed or redeemed.
2. The Firstfruits must be offered.
3. The Tithe must be 1st.
1. The Firstborn Must Be Sacrificed or Redeemed
Ex 13:1-2 “Then the LORD said to Moses, “Dedicate to me every firstborn among the Israelites. The first offspring to be born, of both humans and animals, belongs to me.”
Ex 13:12-13 “you must present all firstborn sons and firstborn male animals to the LORD, for they belong to him. 13 A firstborn donkey may be bought back from the LORD by presenting a lamb or young goat in its place. But if you do not buy it back, you must break its neck. However, you must buy back every firstborn son.”
Every time one of your animals delivered its firstborn, you had to sacrifice it, or if it was unclean, you had to redeem it with a lamb.
• The firstborn clean had to be sacrificed
• The firstborn unclean had to be redeemed.
Do you realize what this is a picture of?
• Jesus, the Lamb, God’s firstborn Son, is clean.
• We are unclean and therefore the clean was sacrificed for the unclean, and we were redeemed. (Purchased back)
The tithe is not legalism or religious duty. It’s about putting 1st things 1st! Jesus was God’s tithe! God gave Jesus first in faith even when we were sinners. God didn’t wait to see if we would change or repent or get worthy. The tithe is about putting God first! It’s about our heart!
• Any first thing given is never lost. Any first thing not given is always lost. The First belongs to God!
Romans 11:16 (NCV) “If the first piece of bread is offered to God, then the whole loaf is made holy.”
• The first portion given redeemed the rest.
• All the rest after the first was given was redeemed.
• The first portion is the redemptive portion.
• Would you rather try to make it through life with 100% and all of it cursed, or with 90% and all of it redeemed and blessed?
Coming to Church is giving the first to the Lord.
• Some people’s week begins on Monday to make deals.
• Some people’s week begins on Friday to party.
• For believers, our week begins on Sunday! The New Testament Church met on Sunday because of the principle of firstfruits.
2. The Firstfruits Must Be Offered: We don’t give them, we bring them!
Ex 23:19 “The first of the firstfruits of your land you shall bring into the house of the LORD your God.”
Proverbs 3:9-10 “Honor the LORD with your possessions, And with the firstfruits of all your increase; So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine.”
The first portion belongs to God! Why did God say that all of the Silver and the Gold from Jericho had to be given to the Lord’s house?
• Because it was the first city in the Promised Land, firstfruits.
• You can have all of the rest, but give the first to me.
• God didn’t say, “After you’ve conquered the Promised Land, then give me 10%.” (Or 10% of Jericho)
• He said, “Give me all of the silver and gold from the first city” and that took faith!
Abraham offered Isaac, his first.
• God didn’t go to Abraham when he only had Isaac and say,
• “After you have 4 or 5 more sons,
• I’m going to come to you and ask you for one of them.”
• God asked for the first when he had one and only the promise of more.
God’s portion is devoted or consecrated to the temple, which means that it has a blessing. But if it’s not given to God, it’s cursed because it’s stolen.
Genesis 4:3-5 “And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the LORD. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering.”
Why did God accept Abel offering, but not Cain’s?
• Cain’s was brought “in the process of time.”
• It wasn’t first fruits but Abel’s was the firstborn!
3. The Tithe Must Be First
Leviticus 27:30 “And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land or of the fruit of the tree, is the Lord’s. It is holy to the LORD.”
Is it possible to give 10% and not be tithing?
The Firstborn belongs to God. The Firstfruits belong to God. And the tithe belongs to God also but it must be first!
It’s the same principle!
If I gave you 10 1-dollar bills, (1) How much is the tithe? (2) Which one is the tithe?
Let’s say that you get paid on Thursday.
• You pay all of your bills and then buy groceries. Then write the tithe check before you come to Church.
Is it really faith to give 10% after we’ve paid all of the bills first? Aren’t we establishing our priorities when we willingly pay everybody else first and then see if there’s enough leftover to give God His Portion?
The First Portion is the redemptive portion!
• There are so many blessings that go along with tithing
• But it’s the principle of putting God first
• And the principle of faith that initiates the blessings!
The first portion is the portion that redeems the rest.
• The first portion carries the blessing.
• You don’t want to give the first portion to the electric company! We fear the IRS, and GMAC, the mortgage company and the phone company more than we fear the Lord. Another way to say that is we respect them more or we put them first rather than the Lord.
Tithing says, “I’ve got a stack of bills here but I’m going to give to you first just like you gave Jesus first.”
I’m not talking about being legalistic and getting angry with your wife if she writes a check to the grocery store before you write the tithe check. I’m talking about your heart and so is God!
It’s entirely possible that you’ve been giving 10% but not tithing because the tithe must be first! It’s the principle of firstfruits and the firstborn. The bottom line is, “Is God first in your life?”
Matthew 6:31-33 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
Put God 1st and everything else just finds its place. Our priorities stay where they should be.
The Blessed Life Part 1
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Sunday, October 10, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Sermon Notes:
The Blessed Life…
1st Things 1st—God must be 1st
We want to put God first in every area including our Finances! Finances relate to every area of your life. How we handle our finances tells God “Who’s first in our lives!”
Matthew 6:21 “Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”
You will never have a complete relationship with God until you understand and practice His principles of handling money. (Matthew 6:24—cannot be loyal to both)
There are 500 verses on prayer, less than 500 on faith, but over 2000 on money and possessions. Jesus talked about money in 16 out of 38 parables.
2 examples of Blessed Life and Cursed Life: My dad and me.
3 Principles that must be understood if we are going to Live the Blessed Life:
1. The Firstborn must be sacrificed or redeemed.
2. The Firstfruits must be offered.
3. The Tithe must be 1st.
1. The Firstborn Must Be Sacrificed or Redeemed
Ex 13:1-2 “Then the LORD said to Moses, “Dedicate to me every firstborn among the Israelites. The first offspring to be born, of both humans and animals, belongs to me.”
Ex 13:12-13 “you must present all firstborn sons and firstborn male animals to the LORD, for they belong to him. 13 A firstborn donkey may be bought back from the LORD by presenting a lamb or young goat in its place. But if you do not buy it back, you must break its neck. However, you must buy back every firstborn son.”
Every time one of your animals delivered its firstborn, you had to sacrifice it, or if it was unclean, you had to redeem it with a lamb.
• The firstborn clean had to be sacrificed
• The firstborn unclean had to be redeemed.
Do you realize what this is a picture of?
• Jesus, the Lamb, God’s firstborn Son, is clean.
• We are unclean and therefore the clean was sacrificed for the unclean, and we were redeemed. (Purchased back)
The tithe is not legalism or religious duty. It’s about putting 1st things 1st! Jesus was God’s tithe! God gave Jesus first in faith even when we were sinners. God didn’t wait to see if we would change or repent or get worthy. The tithe is about putting God first! It’s about our heart!
• Any first thing given is never lost. Any first thing not given is always lost. The First belongs to God!
Romans 11:16 (NCV) “If the first piece of bread is offered to God, then the whole loaf is made holy.”
• The first portion given redeemed the rest.
• All the rest after the first was given was redeemed.
• The first portion is the redemptive portion.
• Would you rather try to make it through life with 100% and all of it cursed, or with 90% and all of it redeemed and blessed?
Coming to Church is giving the first to the Lord.
• Some people’s week begins on Monday to make deals.
• Some people’s week begins on Friday to party.
• For believers, our week begins on Sunday! The New Testament Church met on Sunday because of the principle of firstfruits.
2. The Firstfruits Must Be Offered: We don’t give them, we bring them!
Ex 23:19 “The first of the firstfruits of your land you shall bring into the house of the LORD your God.”
Proverbs 3:9-10 “Honor the LORD with your possessions, And with the firstfruits of all your increase; So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine.”
The first portion belongs to God! Why did God say that all of the Silver and the Gold from Jericho had to be given to the Lord’s house?
• Because it was the first city in the Promised Land, firstfruits.
• You can have all of the rest, but give the first to me.
• God didn’t say, “After you’ve conquered the Promised Land, then give me 10%.” (Or 10% of Jericho)
• He said, “Give me all of the silver and gold from the first city” and that took faith!
Abraham offered Isaac, his first.
• God didn’t go to Abraham when he only had Isaac and say,
• “After you have 4 or 5 more sons,
• I’m going to come to you and ask you for one of them.”
• God asked for the first when he had one and only the promise of more.
God’s portion is devoted or consecrated to the temple, which means that it has a blessing. But if it’s not given to God, it’s cursed because it’s stolen.
Genesis 4:3-5 “And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the LORD. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering.”
Why did God accept Abel offering, but not Cain’s?
• Cain’s was brought “in the process of time.”
• It wasn’t first fruits but Abel’s was the firstborn!
3. The Tithe Must Be First
Leviticus 27:30 “And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land or of the fruit of the tree, is the Lord’s. It is holy to the LORD.”
Is it possible to give 10% and not be tithing?
The Firstborn belongs to God. The Firstfruits belong to God. And the tithe belongs to God also but it must be first!
It’s the same principle!
If I gave you 10 1-dollar bills, (1) How much is the tithe? (2) Which one is the tithe?
Let’s say that you get paid on Thursday.
• You pay all of your bills and then buy groceries. Then write the tithe check before you come to Church.
Is it really faith to give 10% after we’ve paid all of the bills first? Aren’t we establishing our priorities when we willingly pay everybody else first and then see if there’s enough leftover to give God His Portion?
The First Portion is the redemptive portion!
• There are so many blessings that go along with tithing
• But it’s the principle of putting God first
• And the principle of faith that initiates the blessings!
The first portion is the portion that redeems the rest.
• The first portion carries the blessing.
• You don’t want to give the first portion to the electric company! We fear the IRS, and GMAC, the mortgage company and the phone company more than we fear the Lord. Another way to say that is we respect them more or we put them first rather than the Lord.
Tithing says, “I’ve got a stack of bills here but I’m going to give to you first just like you gave Jesus first.”
I’m not talking about being legalistic and getting angry with your wife if she writes a check to the grocery store before you write the tithe check. I’m talking about your heart and so is God!
It’s entirely possible that you’ve been giving 10% but not tithing because the tithe must be first! It’s the principle of firstfruits and the firstborn. The bottom line is, “Is God first in your life?”
Matthew 6:31-33 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
Put God 1st and everything else just finds its place. Our priorities stay where they should be.
10/06/10 - What's A Party Without Gifts PT9 - Pastor Tony Ashmore
Pastor Tony Ashmore continues the series "What's A Party Without Gifts?" with part 9 in this Wednesday service.
What's A Party Without Gifts? Part 9
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
What's A Party Without Gifts? Part 9
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
10/03/10 - Vision Sunday - Pastor Michael Adams
Pastor Michael Adams recasts the vision of LifeGate Church in this Vision Sunday service.
Vision Sunday
Pastor Michael Adams
Sunday, October 3, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Vision Sunday
Pastor Michael Adams
Sunday, October 3, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
09/29/10 - What's A Party Without Gifts PT8 - Pastor Tony Ashmore
Pastor Tony Ashmore continues the series "What's A Party Without Gifts?" with part 8 in this Wednesday service.
What's A Party Without Gifts? Part 8
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Sunday, September 29, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
What's A Party Without Gifts? Part 8
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Sunday, September 29, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Sunday, September 26, 2010
09/26/10 - Are We There Yet PT3 - Pastor Tony Ashmore
Pastor Tony Ashmore continues the series "Are We There Yet?" with part 3 in this Sunday service.
Are We There Yet? Part 3
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Sunday, September 26, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Sermon Notes:
Are We There Yet?
Navigating the Parenting Journey
Proverbs 22:6 (AMP) Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.
(Message) Point your kids in the right direction—when they're old they won't be lost.
How to Mess Up Your Kid (Location 645 from Young)
Don’t do any of the following and your children will face more struggles than needed. Don’t let “I don’t want to” stop you from being a parent.
- Psalm 55:10--“the enemy ‘in-a-me’
- Galatians 5:19-22 “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.”
- Default condition of humanity is hell. (What about babies, small children who die? Romans 7:9 “At one time I lived without understanding the law. But when I learned the command not to covet, for instance, the power of sin came to life, and I died.”)
John 14:6 “Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”
There is 1 way to parent-God’s way. Jesus is not only the way to Heaven—He is The Way for great life, great marriage, great kids. Real life is found when we find the Father of Life and we will not find Him except through Jesus. The biggest key to having rich and satisfying life is understanding you will only have it in Jesus.
Model Godliness and Faith: Genesis 12:8 Abraham pitched his tent and built his altar. Model trust in God rather than trust in our culture.
1. Attitude—Yours, not the kids’.
a. Be purposeful and passionate about being a parent. Embrace it. Honor it.
b. A good teacher is a good learner. (2Timothy 3:14-15)
c. Recognize the seasons and receive the grace for that season.
d. Consistent
2. Good Times:
a. Create memories
b. Catch them doing it right
c. Laugh a lot together
3. Reverence, Respect and Obedience. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Psalm 111:10, Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 9:10
a. Control the tongue
b. Priorities
c. Respect is a gift—give it away
4. Effective Boundaries—Define the playing field clearly and you get to spend more time being a cheerleader and less being a referee.
5. Adolescence—Don’t just endure it, understand it.
a. Half Child, Half Adult: the parent is identified with the “child” part they are trying to separate themselves from.
b. When you try to be like them (talking, dressing, habits) you defeat what they are trying to do—find their identity as an adult. Help them grow up with healthy boundaries and Godly wisdom.
c. Listen (example: Jose and Earnesto from Houston—gangs and guns)
6. Time: Kids need PALs not peers
a. Present: Scheduled, Spontaneous, Spectator and Special
b. Available: Be interruptible
c. Listen beyond the words
7. Kiss and Tell (1 Corinthian 13)
a. Love is an action not just words
b. Love and Acceptance, Repentance and Forgiveness
8. Intentional—not casual, not passive, not ‘whatever’
a. 3 things you should model:
i. Lifetime love affair with Jesus
ii. Lifetime love affair with spouse
iii. Lifetime love affair with kids
b. Practice the Jesus method of Training (Proverbs 22:6): Watch me do it; Do it with me; I watch you do it; You do it alone.
9. Discipline Proverbs 10:17 “People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore correction will go astray.”
a. Discipline is the “essential positive plus the necessary negative”.
b. Ladder Method: (conversation linking all 3)
i. Boundaries
ii. Consequences
iii. Principles
c. Relationship is key: Rules without Relationship = Rebellion
i. Authoritarian: Discipline with no relationship results in angry, frustrated, confused, silent
ii. Permissive: Relationship with no discipline results in self-centered, irresponsible, manipulative
iii. Indifferent: no relationship or discipline results in demanding, aggressive and no self-control
d. Ways to Discipline:
i. Verbal: Attack the behavior, never the child. “Good choice instead of Good boy”. Reinforce what you want instead of what you don’t want.
ii. Restrictions/Grounding: Be seen as the “Giver back” instead of the “Taker away”
iii. Hands-off: Keep them safe but allow them to reap what they sow
iv. Hands-on: The “Rod Principle”—used by a shepherd to redirect sheep onto the narrow path leading to life and safety
1. Using the Rod scripturally:
a. Last resort not a quick fix
b. Controls in place (# of licks defined; defined equipment)
c. Private not public
d. Age limits: 18 mos to puberty
e. Explained before and after
f. Only for willful rebellious violation of a clearly understood rule
Are We There Yet? Part 3
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Sunday, September 26, 2010
www.mylifegatechurch.com
Sermon Notes:
Are We There Yet?
Navigating the Parenting Journey
Proverbs 22:6 (AMP) Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.
(Message) Point your kids in the right direction—when they're old they won't be lost.
How to Mess Up Your Kid (Location 645 from Young)
Don’t do any of the following and your children will face more struggles than needed. Don’t let “I don’t want to” stop you from being a parent.
- Psalm 55:10--“the enemy ‘in-a-me’
- Galatians 5:19-22 “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.”
- Default condition of humanity is hell. (What about babies, small children who die? Romans 7:9 “At one time I lived without understanding the law. But when I learned the command not to covet, for instance, the power of sin came to life, and I died.”)
John 14:6 “Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”
There is 1 way to parent-God’s way. Jesus is not only the way to Heaven—He is The Way for great life, great marriage, great kids. Real life is found when we find the Father of Life and we will not find Him except through Jesus. The biggest key to having rich and satisfying life is understanding you will only have it in Jesus.
Model Godliness and Faith: Genesis 12:8 Abraham pitched his tent and built his altar. Model trust in God rather than trust in our culture.
1. Attitude—Yours, not the kids’.
a. Be purposeful and passionate about being a parent. Embrace it. Honor it.
b. A good teacher is a good learner. (2Timothy 3:14-15)
c. Recognize the seasons and receive the grace for that season.
d. Consistent
2. Good Times:
a. Create memories
b. Catch them doing it right
c. Laugh a lot together
3. Reverence, Respect and Obedience. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Psalm 111:10, Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 9:10
a. Control the tongue
b. Priorities
c. Respect is a gift—give it away
4. Effective Boundaries—Define the playing field clearly and you get to spend more time being a cheerleader and less being a referee.
5. Adolescence—Don’t just endure it, understand it.
a. Half Child, Half Adult: the parent is identified with the “child” part they are trying to separate themselves from.
b. When you try to be like them (talking, dressing, habits) you defeat what they are trying to do—find their identity as an adult. Help them grow up with healthy boundaries and Godly wisdom.
c. Listen (example: Jose and Earnesto from Houston—gangs and guns)
6. Time: Kids need PALs not peers
a. Present: Scheduled, Spontaneous, Spectator and Special
b. Available: Be interruptible
c. Listen beyond the words
7. Kiss and Tell (1 Corinthian 13)
a. Love is an action not just words
b. Love and Acceptance, Repentance and Forgiveness
8. Intentional—not casual, not passive, not ‘whatever’
a. 3 things you should model:
i. Lifetime love affair with Jesus
ii. Lifetime love affair with spouse
iii. Lifetime love affair with kids
b. Practice the Jesus method of Training (Proverbs 22:6): Watch me do it; Do it with me; I watch you do it; You do it alone.
9. Discipline Proverbs 10:17 “People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore correction will go astray.”
a. Discipline is the “essential positive plus the necessary negative”.
b. Ladder Method: (conversation linking all 3)
i. Boundaries
ii. Consequences
iii. Principles
c. Relationship is key: Rules without Relationship = Rebellion
i. Authoritarian: Discipline with no relationship results in angry, frustrated, confused, silent
ii. Permissive: Relationship with no discipline results in self-centered, irresponsible, manipulative
iii. Indifferent: no relationship or discipline results in demanding, aggressive and no self-control
d. Ways to Discipline:
i. Verbal: Attack the behavior, never the child. “Good choice instead of Good boy”. Reinforce what you want instead of what you don’t want.
ii. Restrictions/Grounding: Be seen as the “Giver back” instead of the “Taker away”
iii. Hands-off: Keep them safe but allow them to reap what they sow
iv. Hands-on: The “Rod Principle”—used by a shepherd to redirect sheep onto the narrow path leading to life and safety
1. Using the Rod scripturally:
a. Last resort not a quick fix
b. Controls in place (# of licks defined; defined equipment)
c. Private not public
d. Age limits: 18 mos to puberty
e. Explained before and after
f. Only for willful rebellious violation of a clearly understood rule
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