Pastor Tony Ashmore continues the "Reel Life" series in Part 3 of the Chronicles of Narnia "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" in this Sunday morning celebration.Reel Life PT3
Pastor Tony Ashmore
Sunday, July 22, 2012
www.mylifegatechurch.com
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Sermon Notes:
Romans 5:7 "When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners."
2 Timothy 2:24 "A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people."
Dealing with Difficult People
– Edmund, Lucy, Caspian, Reepicheep, and the entire crew of the Dawn Treader have to put up with Eustace. He’s “that” kid who is obnoxious, knows it all, disdains others, and generally makes life miserable for everyone. You know the type. He’s the guy who inserts himself into every conversation in an attempt to prove that he’s smarter than everyone else. She’s the one who complains about every imagined slight that she experiences.
Am I difficult?
Is it easier to hug a porcupine than be in a relationship with me?
Have Others Said Of You . . .
T or F 1. You're a perfectionist!
T or F 2. You're a controlling person!
T or F 3. You're a highly critical person.
T or F 4. No one is ever good enough for you!
T or F 5. You hold a grudge a long time.
T or F 6. You are stingy with compliments.
T or F 7. You're often blaming others.
T or F 8. You're impossible to please!
T or F 9. You withhold love as a punishment.
T or F 10. You can seldom give a compliment without a "but…" following.
T or F 11. You are judgmental.
T or F 12. You are easily offended.
T or F 13. You often contradict others.
T or F 14. You frequently complain about what isn't being done.
T or F 15. You frequently interrupt and correct others.
T or F 16. You’re good at telling and/or knowing what others "should, need, and ought" to do.
T or F 17. You are mad, upset, or angry much of the time.
T or F 18. You react to others not doing what you want them to do by yelling, screaming, swearing, name calling or withdrawing in silence.
T or F 19. You make threats of quitting, divorce, abandonment or withdrawal.
T or F 20. You are rude, insensitive, curt, abrupt, and do not respect the opinions of others.
T or F 21. You see yourself as more hard working, or more responsible, or more capable, or more intelligent than others.
0 - 3 Normal, but not necessarily healthy
4 - 7 Critical and hard to live with
8 - 12 Highly critical and non-accepting of others
13 - 16 Definitely toxic and dangerous to your relationships
17 – 19 A probable history of rocky relationships
20 -- 21 Might think about moving to a deserted island if you are unwilling to change
Do I deal with difficult people in a way that empowers destiny-theirs and mine? “Each person is responsible for his or her own behavior regardless of the actions of others. We cannot always choose the circumstances, but we can always choose our response.”
Let go of the need to change them, to be right and make them wrong, to control, to be heard, acknowledged, the should and shouldn’t, to fix them or change them, as well as the expectation of how things need to be, etc.
Whatever you are reacting to in them is an opportunity for you to transform in yourself.
To be a loving person is a goal, to be loved in return is a wish. Focus on goals, things for which you are responsible, not wishes. (again, vision, not need, is what moves God. “I need to be loved” vs “I will be a lover of others”)
Hugging a porcupine must be done very gently, using wisdom. Even then you will probably walk away with some pain. (example: scars on my arm from my own cat—messing with him when he was being difficult)
3 Ways to Hug a Porcupine:
Redemption – Eustace got himself into a situation that he couldn’t get himself out of. He dabbled in what he shouldn’t have, and discovered to his dismay that he had become outwardly what he was inwardly. While in the form of a dragon, Eustace began to learn the value of friendship, and even experienced the joy of cooperation. He learned the satisfaction that comes from helping others. When he finally saw himself as he really was, he discovered that he needed the transformation that only Aslan could provide. The account of that transformation in the book is exquisite. The redemption of Eustace had a real effect on not only Eustace, but on the others too.
1. Pray for insight and wisdom.
When you pray for someone, God often changes your heart about them. Maybe you’ll never see eye to eye with them, that’s ok. The most important thing is that you begin to see them through the eyes of Christ. Ask God to help you see them the way that he sees them. While you’re at it, ask him to protect and bless them and to show you ways to reach out to them.
Psalm 73:12-17 (if the destiny of the wicked, if all that seems unfair, is revealed in the sanctuary of the Lord, then the destiny of the righteous and those pursuing God is also found there. Enoch and Noah: an uncontaminated bloodline because of surrender to God.)
12 This is what the wicked are like—always free of care, they go on amassing wealth. 13 Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence. 14 All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments. 15 If I had spoken out like that, I would have betrayed your children. 16 When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply
17 till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
2. Put on the right equipment and get in the right position
James 1:19 “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”
Matthew 7:6 “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy.[a] Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.
Put on some thick gloves and a flak jacket. Remember, we are difficult because we have not embraced the nature of God in whose image we are made. Instead, we are embracing another nature. (Example: the story of the ‘pet’ Boa Constrictor in Florida who killed the young couple’s baby—It was his nature.) Respect the nature you are dealing with while you display the nature of God. Set realistic expectations and keep your eyes on Jesus, not the porcupine.
Respect is ours to give. Don’t require it to be earned, just give it away. I’ve learned that saying, “Please” and “Thank you” is an easy and powerful way to show someone else respect. In fact, it can help build your respect. We’ve forgotten those powerful words, yet they can really dismantle a hard-to-reach person.
3. Refuse to give in to the negative.
Galatians 5:14-15 “For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another.” Not killing, not stealing, etc., are easy compared to loving each other. This is the hardest to fulfill and cannot be achieved by self-effort. We must have the help of God. Otherwise we turn to vengeance, gossip, despising, and giving up.
